Are My Mom and I Wrong for Lying to My Wife about What Was Happening with Our Baby?

When working mom Julia returned home after weeks, she discovered a heartbreaking truth about her baby that her husband and mother-in-law had been hiding. Her heart shattered upon learning their reasons for keeping such a significant secret.

Hey, everyone, especially new mothers like me. Julia here, just your regular new mom with a little universe to take care of. Motherhood is a wonderful feeling, don’t you think?

A woman holding her baby | Source: Midjourney

A woman holding her baby | Source: Midjourney

Well, when my husband Luke and I had our first baby, a cute little bundle of joy named Ashton (now 11 months old), we were totally elated.

But the thing was, I was in residency, so I had to take a few weeks off before giving birth and then went back to work a few months later. So you can probably imagine how I was shuttling between my ambition and taking care of my newborn.

A female healthcare specialist | Source: Unsplash

A female healthcare specialist | Source: Unsplash

My husband’s work was flexible, and he could sometimes work from home. But still, we were finding it a bit difficult to work and take care of our baby, so that’s when Luke suggested moving his mom in with us.

“Julia, maybe Mom could move in for a while. It’d help us a lot,” Luke said one night, looking exhausted.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. “I know. It makes sense, but… you sure about this?”

A mother cradling her baby | Source: Pexels

A mother cradling her baby | Source: Pexels

He nodded, giving me a tired but hopeful smile. “It’ll be okay. Mom loves Ashton, and she wants to help.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright, let’s do it.”

I was okay with it. His mom Marianne was a very kind lady. But let me tell you one thing, she’s old-fashioned and that was kind of unnerving for me because I was not quite sure how she would take our arrangement of me going to work while Luke was a stay-at-home dad.

Grandma with grandson | Source: Midjourney

Grandma with grandson | Source: Midjourney

So, just as we planned, my MIL moved in with us shortly after Ashton’s birth, which allowed me and my husband to balance between work and childcare.

I told you my MIL was old-fashioned, right? So here’s when things got a bit fussy – she definitely did not prefer this arrangement, although she hasn’t said anything to either of us.

Despite being visibly upset (if I can put it that way), she was still a tremendous help.

Grandma tending to a baby | Source: Midjourney

Grandma tending to a baby | Source: Midjourney

My residency required long stretches away from home, sometimes weeks at a time, and she shouldered the burden admirably.

A few months passed with Luke and my MIL taking care of my baby while I was away. So one day, I was leaving for my residency as usual and I was required to stay away from my house for three weeks.

A healthcare specialist wearing a mask | Source: Unsplash

A healthcare specialist wearing a mask | Source: Unsplash

It ached my heart to leave my baby at home but Luke was such a sweetheart. He told me not to worry and promised to send me videos and pictures of our son regularly so I don’t miss him. I was upset but my hubby’s kind words propelled me forward.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll send you updates every day,” Luke assured me, holding my hand.

A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels

A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels

“Promise?” I whispered, trying to hold back tears.

“Promise,” he said, kissing my forehead.

So for the next three weeks, I had been getting regular pictures and updates about baby Ashton and I was so happy.

A woman holding a cell phone | Source: Unsplash

A woman holding a cell phone | Source: Unsplash

Then at the end of the third week, which was yesterday, I called my husband to tell him how my schedule has become more comfortable, and now I can be home every morning and check out on our son.

Luke fell silent, and I didn’t understand why. But moments later, he assured me he was very happy about the news and couldn’t wait to see me.

Woman on a phone call | Source: Pexels

Woman on a phone call | Source: Pexels

Overcome with excitement, I barely slept a wink that night. The first thing I did in the morning was get ready, jump in the car, and race home to see my baby.

Usually, Ashton would be mostly asleep whenever I’d visit. But this morning, he was wide awake. When I saw him, MY HEART SANK. I could not believe my eyes and I started tearing up.

A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney

A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney

I froze and I thought I was dreaming for a second. But what I was seeing right in front of me was very much true and happening and I was MAD.

The next thing I knew, I was storming back into the bedroom and yelled at my husband, “How could you do this to me??”

Luke sat up, confused. “Julia, what’s wrong?”

A man yawning and groggily rubbing his eyes | Source: Pexels

A man yawning and groggily rubbing his eyes | Source: Pexels

“What’s wrong?” I screamed, my voice shaking. “How could you keep this from me?”

Luke groggily woke up and hearing me scream, my MIL came running to our bedroom.

I continued to shriek, “HOW COULD YOU HIDE FROM ME THAT HE STARTED TALKING AND WALKING SO NICELY??”

An angry woman | Source: Pexels

An angry woman | Source: Pexels

I couldn’t hold back my tears and I was in total chaos that morning.

Can you relate to what I must have gone through upon seeing and hearing my baby utter his first words and take his first steps, and was never told about it?

I confronted my husband and my MIL, asking, “Since when has our baby started talking and walking? How could you hide such a big truth from me??”

A cute baby sitting in a crib | Source: Pexels

A cute baby sitting in a crib | Source: Pexels

“Julia, we thought it was for the best,” Luke tried to explain, looking helpless. “We wanted to protect you.”

“Protect me? By lying to me?” I shot back, my voice rising.

My MIL stepped forward, wringing her hands. “We thought it was for the best, dear.”

A helpless man | Source: Pexels

A helpless man | Source: Pexels

My husband quickly approached me and squeezed my face gently, hoping to calm me down. But I was FUMING. I yanked his hands away and my angry gaze landed on my MIL.

Luke told me that a few weeks ago, our son had started saying words like “mama,” “dada,” “nana,” and even “love you.” And not just that, he’d even started taking his first baby steps.

A father with his child | Source: Unsplash

A father with his child | Source: Unsplash

When I asked Luke why they didn’t tell me about it, he came up with a reason that shook me and angered me more.

He said, “Honey, we didn’t want to tell you because we were worried it might hurt and disappoint you. We didn’t want you to feel you were missing out on all these important milestones.”

“What a lame reason, Luke? How could you decide things for me involving our baby?” I fumed.

A teary-eyed woman | Source: Pexels

A teary-eyed woman | Source: Pexels

“Julia, we were just trying to make it easier for you,” he insisted, looking desperate.

I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. “Easier? You’ve made it so much harder.”

A sad and distressed woman | Source: Pexels

A sad and distressed woman | Source: Pexels

His mother chimed in and apologized, saying, “Julia, honey, we wanted to spare you the pain. Of course, you’d find this out one day. But we didn’t want you to feel bad, so we decided not to keep you updated on baby Ashton’s progress until you saw it for yourself.”

An older woman with a gentle smile | Source: Pexels

An older woman with a gentle smile | Source: Pexels

I crossed my arms and stared daggers at my MIL. I asked her how she could do this to me despite being a mother of two kids herself. Of course, my MIL fell dead silent and I could see remorse in her eyes.

I was so LIVID and HURT. “You shouldn’t have done this, Luke. I’m his mother and I deserve to know EVERYTHING about our baby,” I barked at my husband.

A couple talking | Source: Pexels

A couple talking | Source: Pexels

Of course, he was upset and guilty. “Julia, we were just trying to keep your disappointment at bay. You’ve been working so hard, and we didn’t want you to feel left out of our son’s milestones.”

“Well, now I feel worse,” I shot back, my voice trembling with emotion.

A sad woman bursting into tears | Source: Unsplash

A sad woman bursting into tears | Source: Unsplash

I still found their reasons unacceptable, no matter what. Think in my shoes, as a mother, how would you feel if you’re told that you’re being lied to about your baby because it would hurt you?

LAME. That’s what I call Luke and my MIL’s approach. “But I missed his milestones… his first words, his first steps… do you know how much that hurts?” I cried.

A sad and hurt woman | Source: Pexels

A sad and hurt woman | Source: Pexels

My MIL interjected, telling me that my son is healthy and happy, and that’s what matters most. Really? So, am I supposed to just stand in some corner of my own house, watching and clapping, forgetting the fact that I couldn’t be a part of my son’s progress?

I was completely heartbroken and angry. But there was nothing much I could do. I had missed my baby’s first memorable steps and speech, and it was going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

A baby walking | Source: Pexels

A baby walking | Source: Pexels

“Julia, I’m so sorry,” Luke said softly. “We’ll make sure this never happens again.”

He gently took my hands in his and promised me that I wouldn’t miss out on anything else again. He also promised that I would be involved in all of our son’s milestones, no matter what.

A man holding a woman's hand | Source: Pexels

A man holding a woman’s hand | Source: Pexels

It sounded more like a compromise than regret. I mean, you can’t just tell a mother to calm down and forget the fact that she was left out of her son’s life, even if it was for a short while. How would you take this if you were in my shoes?

Tears or arguments wouldn’t rewind time. My baby’s first words, those wobbly steps… gone, irreplaceable. A heavy ache settled in my chest, a constant reminder of what I’d missed.

A heartbroken woman | Source: Pexels

A heartbroken woman | Source: Pexels

I looked at Luke and said, “I don’t want to miss anything again. I know I’m ambitious, but I’m a MOTHER and I need to be kept in the loop about everything involving our son.”

A mother embracing her baby | Source: Pexels

A mother embracing her baby | Source: Pexels

Though my baby’s laughter, his wobbly walks, and sweet babbling brought a smile to my face, a hollow ache still lingers within me.

I might have forgiven my husband and MIL for lying to me about what was happening with my baby, but I am determined to NEVER be excluded from his life again.

A mother kissing her baby | Source: Pexels

A mother kissing her baby | Source: Pexels

Sharing this story feels like letting go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding. The ache might stay a while, but a tiny seed of hope blooms within me every time I see my baby. Thank you for being here and reading. Your support means more than words can express.

A mother holding her toddler's hand | Source: Pexels

A mother holding her toddler’s hand | Source: Pexels

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