For almost 10 years, my husband and I lived a good life. We weren’t rich, but we always had enough, and we had a lot of fun. He’s American, and we met during his working holiday in New Zealand, my home country. We hit it off instantly. Within 3 months, we were living together, engaged, and planning our future. Life was sunny.
Pretty early on, we agreed not to have kids. This sat well with me, as I had never wanted to be a mother. Instead, as we used to say, we celebrated life every day. This meant alcohol, enjoying good food, visiting the beach, and indulging in our hobbies. We also bought an old house together, adopted a few cats, and got married.
Our relationship was built on having carefree fun
But my life hasn’t turned out how I expected it to. At 37, I wanted to be running a successful business, happily married, and traveling in my spare time. Instead, I’m a single mother to a two-year-old, divorced, jobless, and living in my childhood home. I’m so broke that I’ve had to let strangers live in the house we bought because I can’t afford to pay utilities or the mortgage.
All this happened because my now ex-husband convinced me to have a baby. At the time, I knew it was a bad idea, in that we weren’t in a strong or healthy place in our marriage, but saying no felt like depriving my best friend of his heart’s desire. I have always been an opportunist, willing to give anything a go, and I enjoy learning new skills. I felt I would approach motherhood in the same way.
When he asked to have a baby, I was working for a great company with amazing perks and loving life. He worked the night shift in a factory. Although the pay and progression were good, it wasn’t the future he had envisioned. He became dark and depressed, then decided that a baby would make him happy. I eventually agreed.
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